Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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