Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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