He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The maid of honor just puked.
I just cut my nipple shaving
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
