The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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