WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
