guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
