marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
