Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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