Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
