Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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