I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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