I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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