Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
