Your dad touched me again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
