I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
