At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he's gonorrhea incarnate
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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