This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
