I need help removing her.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
