He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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