dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?