one two three fourrrrnication!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
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I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
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I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can't put those talents on a resume
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird