I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.