Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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