i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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