i just had sex bonerless
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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