I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
