ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize