kristin has been a bad kristin
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
