I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
