I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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