epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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