Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
