God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
