i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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