Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
