remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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