we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
