"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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