Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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