Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
