the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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