Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
