I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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