it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
