she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
