Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
