Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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