I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
