Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I party with great urgency now.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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