my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
