i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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