So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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