Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?