Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day