I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing