i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice