So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
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I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok