U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved