i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
