so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
