I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
