i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Congratulations! We have a period
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