there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
