i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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