Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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