Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
