i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
