i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
