I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
