The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
